I've been following Katie Lee from the Food Network for a while now. Her posts are generally fun and uplifting, mostly her with delicious food or hanging out on on the beach. Yesterday she posted something much different. Something that was both inspiring and heartbreaking at the same time, and I wanted to share it with you.
She posted that people had been commenting that she looked like she had gained weight - never a good thing to comment on. She then went on to say people then asked if she was pregnant - also never something you should ask a woman, EVER.
Here's some of the post:
I get multiple messages a day asking me if I’m pregnant or why I am not pregnant yet. I get comments saying I look like I’ve gained weight, so I must be pregnant. After one said that I looked “thick in the waist” I finally responded that it’s not ok to comment on a woman’s body and you never know what someone is going through. There is so much pressure on women to look a certain way and while most mean well with baby questions, it can be hurtful. Many of you sent me messages sharing your personal stories of fertility issues. You helped me, so now I want to share my story with you.
When Ryan and I got married, our plan was to start a family right away. I couldn’t wait to get pregnant! I naively thought it would be easy. I’m a healthy woman, I eat a balanced diet, exercise, I don’t smoke. Ryan is the same. But reproductive health is an entirely different ballgame.
We were trying, I had to have surgery to correct a problem, got an infection, then I was so run down I got shingles. My doctor advised us to try iVF. We just finished the intense process only to get zero healthy embryos. Not only is iVF physically exhausting, the emotional toll is unparalleled. We were filled with hope and excitement only to be crushed.
It is really hard to put on a happy face. Fertility issues are supposed to be private so many of us are silently in pain.
She says that her and her husband know that a family will happen for them, but every time someone comments or asks about pregnancy it reminds her of her own fertility issues and she has a hard time with it.
This is why you never ask someone something so personal. You don't know what they are going through.
Read her full post and message below.